Open Letter to the Insurance Company…RE: Oklahoma Tornados

My wife and her parents have friends that live in Cashion, OK and they were affected by the recent tornadoes.  By affected, I mean that most of their house was relocated in an abstract manner across their lawn and the lawn of the neighbors.  Although you might think that is a little rude that their house encroached on their neighbors, rest assured, the neighbors don’t mind because their house was intermingled in the abstract, post modern redecorating done by the Oklahoma tornados.  By the grace of God, we weren’t affected, but we have done our part to help them get back on their feet and rebuild.  Thankfully our friends had insurance.  And the reason for this post is because the insurance company that he has is giving him crap and dragging their feet.  I know this post is a bit cynical, but it is frustrating to see my friends hurt, especially when they had an expectation that they would be taken care of.

So this is my hypothetical letter that I would send to the insurance company, had we had to go through what our friends are going through.  While it is true that I can take a bit more creative license because of the fact that I am not going through it, but the concept I’m presenting holds true.  As always, please feel free to share.

Dear Insurance Company,

First off, I hope this letter finds you well.  I am glad that we entered into a business relationship when I first bought my house.  I especially appreciate the fact that you have regularly received and cashed my check, that was very considerate of you.

I don’t mean to be a stickler for details, but I seem to remember entering into this business relationship with a certain understanding.  The understanding that I thought we had is that if I were to give you money every month in the form of a premium, then if something catostraphic happened…say for instance, my house was demolished by a tornado, then you would help me rebuild and replace the house that we lost and the things that were in it.  Funny thing happened a couple of weeks ago…my house was demolished by a tornado and we lost everything that was in it.

So, with the understanding that I thought we had when we entered into this business relationship, I am asking you to fulfill your end of the deal.  I understand that your company is a for profit company, and that is fine…profit isn’t necessarily a bad thing.  I even understand that your business model is simple.  You make a profit by collecting premiums while not sending money out for claims, and I knew all of this when we started doing business.  For what it is worth, I’m sorry that our dealings aren’t going to be as profitable for you than you originally anticipated, but considering the fact that the home I was living in is was scattered about 4 lots over a quarter of a mile, I have little sympathy for your bottom line at this particular time.

Recently I asked for some money to replace some of the clothes that were ruined in the tornado.  Of course that is something that I thought would have been an easy claim to handle and process.  But, in your infinite wisdom as a insurance company you gave the very sage advice of simply running the clothes through the washing machine.  Of course, my washing machine and dryer are at this point MIA and the clothes that I had in the house were thrown about along with the other debris and fiberglass of the house, but that is great advice.  I’ll tell you what I’ll do, I wash one of my best shirts at either a laundromat or relative’s house.  After washing and drying a shirt…you know…one of the shirts that was drenched in debris, mud, and insulation that it picked up as my house went from one continuous piece of property to thousands…I will find one of my very best to give to you as a gift.  Of course, I would be very insulted if you did not immediately try on this gracious gift that I am offering you.  So when I give you this gift, I expect you to put it on in my presence.  I also want to make sure that your family is able to participate as well, so if you just let me know, I’ll bring some clothes that my wife and kids had in the house during the tornado, I’ll be sure to wash them as well and bring them to you.

So anyways, thank you guys for making sure that your fidelity is held to the bottom line of the balance sheet and not necessarily the customers to contribute to it.  As you know, I have all the time in the world between sifting through the rubble of what used to be my house, trying to find a temporary place for my family to live in, talking with my employer to balance the new obligations I have with putting my life back to together alongside with the obligations I have at work, and simply finding time to cope with my new reality.  So if you would make sure you make the process of trying to put my life back together as drawn out and convoluted as possible, I can assure that it will not put anymore undue hardship on an already incredibly stressful situation.


John Q. Homeowner


About larsenphillip

I'm an imperfect disciple of Jesus Christ. I am learning that my walk with Jesus gets deeper when I drop the presumptions that I have and simply follow him. I get frustrated when people put God in a box, and presume to know how He will reach individuals, work in peoples lives, and advance His kingdom. If Tony Campolo or Jim Wallis were to call me and ask me to work for them for free...I probably would. I think one day I'll write a book, and I am a nut for STL Cardinal baseball.
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